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<P>Well, they do have a strong case.....</P>
<P>David</P>
<P> </P>
<P>10/6/04</P>
<P>Friends,</P>
<P>You may have heard by now that the Michigan Republican Party has called for
my arrest. That's right. They literally want me brought up on charges -- and
hope that I'm locked up.</P>
<P>No, <A
href="http://www.woodtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=2393829&nav=0RceRgjo"
target=_blank>I'm not kidding</A>. The Republican Party, yesterday, <A
href="http://www.migop.org/pressreleases/readarticle.asp?type=press&id=2190"
target=_blank>filed a criminal complaint</A> with the prosecutors in each of the
counties where I spoke last week in Michigan.</P>
<P>My crime? <A href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/ontheroad/index.php"
target=_blank>Clean underwear for anyone who will vote</A> in the upcoming
election.</P>
<P>Each night on our 60-city "Slacker Uprising Tour" through the 20 battleground
states, I've been registering hundreds (and on some nights, thousands) of voters
at my arena and stadium events. I then ask for everyone over 23 who has never
voted (or didn't vote in the last election) to stand up. I tell these slackers
that I understand and respect why they think politicians are not worth the
bother. I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not
want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking
beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for
me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this
once. The stakes this time are just too high.</P>
<P>If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new
Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles,
the sustenance of slackers everywhere.</P>
<P>I then close by having them repeat the 2004 Slacker Oath: "Pick nose! Pick
butt! Pick Kerry."</P>
<P>It seems to have worked, as each night the volunteer tables are swamped
afterwards with hundreds of new and young voters signing up to campaign for
regime change for the next four weeks.</P>
<P>The satire of all this seems to have been lost on the Republicans. Or maybe
it hasn't. The state of Michigan (where we spent most of last week) reported
that over 100,000 young people recently registered to vote, a record that no one
saw coming. The Slacker Tour has turned into a huge steamroller with a momentum
all its own.</P>
<P>So, the Republican Party, to show their gratitude that so many young people
will now be involved in our system, has demanded that I be sent to jail for
trying to "bribe" students to vote.</P>
<P>Of course, this would be quite laughable if they weren't so serious about
their charges. But they are. I may soon be a wanted man in Michigan -- simply
because I convinced a few slackers to change their underwear and eat a healthy
meal of artificially flavored noodles.</P>
<P>I thought I'd seen it all this year -- Disney refusing to distribute the film
they paid for, right-wingers harassing theater owners who showed "Fahrenheit
9/11," conservative action groups trying to get the FEC to kick our film ads off
the air, the unnecessary restrictive R-rating that forced teenagers to sneak in
to see it, and all the stupid, crazy attacks on me and my movie that I've had to
listen to as I watched the public ignore them and pack the movie houses anyway,
where my film was being shown. And when all that failed, five different
Republican groups made five different attack dog tapes (oops, "documentaries"!)
against me in a period of about six weeks. But they were all so bad, so boring,
so right-wing, no one wanted to watch them and they too went away, a sad waste
of good videotape.</P>
<P>Now, after enduring all this, with no tricks left in their bag, they've just
decided, "Let's toss his sorry ass behind bars -- him and his noodles and his
gift of clean underwear!"</P>
<P>My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may
never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to
you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they
will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote
Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls
until well after noon)!</P>
<P>Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside
out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.</P>
<P>Yours,</P>
<P>Michael Moore<BR><A href="mailto:mmflint@aol.com">MMFlint@aol.com</A><BR><A
href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/" target=_blank>www.michaelmoore.com</A></P>
<P>P.S. My favorite moment of the VP debate: Cheney saying to the moderator that
this was the first he heard that that many black women in America had AIDS.
Clueless. Cheney, for an entire 90-minutes, only mentioned Bush's name -- that's
his running mate, the "president" -- once. They should have called this the
"President (Cheney) -- Vice President (Edwards) Debate."</P>
<P>P.P.S. Tomorrow's letter, as promised for today, will be about my new book,
"<A href="http://www.michaelmoore.com/books-films/" target=_blank>Will They Ever
Trust Us Again?: Letters from the War Zone</A>." And thanks, everyone, for
sending "Fahrenheit 9/11" on its first day to #1 on Amazon. If you find that
your store didn't order enough copies, or to report other problems, please
e-mail Sony Home video at <A
href="mailto:HeySony@michaelmoore.com">HeySony@michaelmoore.com</A>.</P></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>